100 Word Challenge – Week 50.1: Flooded Path

The rain turned the road into a river hours ago.

Or was it years now? How long had it really been since he had seen his feet?

He shook his head at the notion. It didn’t matter if he could see what was under him. All that would look up at him would be their faces.

The sentry who felt a knife suddenly buried in his throat while he watched a door.

The soldiers he picked off at a thousand yards with a high powered rifle.

The rookie who couldn’t swim away from their crash site.

They were his path now.

————————————————————————————————————————————————-

This week was an…interesting one. So much to do before vacation, but this one has been on my mind all day.

I do hope you all enjoy!

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13 thoughts on “100 Word Challenge – Week 50.1: Flooded Path

  1. Mayumi-H says:

    Very grim. But I like the sense of lost time a lot, especially in that first bit. The details of the dead are a nice touch, too; they give the piece this choppy feeling, like the only thing that matters is the memories.

    • Lorraine ForT says:

      …as though he is breaking up the events in order to focus on the path ahead. nicely done. 🙂

    • Thank you for the review!
      After a while, certain things get mixed and washed away. And some things shouldn’t. But some prices are very steep.

    • It can be hard to keep a notion of time after such a long fight. And this is the price, far as I can tell.
      Thank you for the feedback! Next week will be positive Mayumi, I promise!

      • Mayumi-H says:

        You should write as the spirit moves you, as they say. I think the grimness is appropriate for this piece. (For your other piece, as well; the prompt does have that sombre tone to it, after all.)

        You’ve got a good grasp on such fatalism…without it being too dark. It’s realistic, I suppose I’m trying to say. Keep up the good work!

  2. I thought you tackled a difficult topic really well, neither sentimental nor graphic, but poignant.

  3. Mayumi-H’s word: grim …is a good word. Grim mood piece

  4. liz2you says:

    Well written and I can see and feel what may be in his head. So much that he didn’t agree with but had to be a part of.
    And thanks for visiting my broken bridge.
    liz

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