Five Sentence Fiction – Awkward

Uncomfortable gazes were quickly broken whenever their eyes locked even for an instant, which was as close as either would approach the other. Conversations were clipped and to the point, leaving no room for elaboration or further chaining into a real encounter. One would come close, the other would break away into the safety of the clouds and crowds. A waltz that told the world of their brazen actions, but would simply tease the dancers with the faint hopes of more, less, all and nothing.

Such was the price of one night, in all its perfection and comfort.


My entry for this week’s Five Sentence Fiction from Lillie McFerrin, and a direct continuation from the week’s 100 Word Challenge titled ‘Weak Spot’. In moments like this, we’d trade the world for a commercial break.
I hope you all enjoy!

2 thoughts on “Five Sentence Fiction – Awkward

  1. Mayumi-H says:

    I did enjoy this, a lot.
    You portray the delicate, awkward dance of illicit desire very well, here; I especially like the way you used the verbiage to convey that it is a dance. Loved your last line, too – how true that one night can cost so much.
    The only thing I would suggest would be to take another look at the verb tenses in the sentence starting, One came close….

    Really liked this, though. Well done!

  2. I reworked the verbage to fit better with the tense, so I think it should flow better now.
    Anyway, it seems like everyone dances this lovingly sick little ballet at least once in life. Makes one wonder if the toll was worth the lesson.
    I’m happy you enjoyed, Mayumi!

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