100 Word Challenge – Week 62.1: Don’t Say It

“I love you.”

His brain could only screech to a stupefied halt as those words escaped him. All the preparation that went into shaping them, all the forethought into when to unleash them, all wasted in three honest syllables.

A failure made even sharper when she fixed him a saddened smile, “Please don’t say that.”

He couldn’t even manage a stutter. He knew he was right to say it, wasn’t he?

Then fell her reluctant hammer ,“Maybe someday you’ll say that to me at the right time. But it can’t be that time right now…”

Then only her fading bootsteps echoed among the faceless crowd.

——————————-

Entry #1 for the 100-Word Challenge from Julia’s Place. And another moment that hits everyone at some point in life I think.

I hope you all enjoy!

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14 thoughts on “100 Word Challenge – Week 62.1: Don’t Say It

  1. Mayumi-H says:

    This one is so close to home, I can’t help but be torn about it. It’s written well, but I just…can’t…enjoy it. Chalk it up to your writing evoking the right feelings.

    • Wow…I honestly don’t know what to say to that. On the one hand, I did not intend to hit such a nerve of course. But on the other, there is more to the story, so this might be rough.
      Beyond that…I got nothing.

  2. Delft says:

    Gives a sort of sinking feeling.
    I like the “he couldn’t even manage a stutter”. great description of speechlessness.

  3. […] And entry #2 for this week’s Five Sentence Fiction from Lillie McFerrin. It continues the prompt of “Flawed”, along with my earlier entry for the 100-word Challenge titled “Don’t Say It”. […]

  4. Judee says:

    This is so tragic, and at the same time, quite lovely, seeing how even men can be vulnerable when it comes to those three words. I wonder what “the right time” would be for her?

  5. Love it … a negative response and walking out … bold move on her part. He may never say it to her again. Great entry ….

  6. […] My entry for this week’s 100 Word Challenge from Julia’s Place. I honestly didn’t think I would have time to do one of these this week, as lately I’d have better luck telling the ocean to dry off than keeping track of myself it seems. But this one wrote itself in record time. And it could also be viewed as a continuation to one of my earlier works: “Don’t Say It“. […]

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