There are some things in life that require no explanation but their word. That have no reasoning beyond the moment. More often than not, such things are never meant to last, bowing at last to reality and buckling under the weights of their own deeds until they snap and the wreckage is scattered across multiple lives.
But every now and then, something manages to take root. Born from a dream, tempered by the proper blend of passion and patience. Such a thing would be nothing if trusted to mortal hands along, but when aided by that which cannot be reasoned with; luck, fortune or perhaps even destiny, it becomes something stronger. It becomes determination. It becomes resolution.
When we first met, I saw only the ripples beneath the mask you wore. Subtle signs that something dark was lurking behind the blind smile you wore. And indeed, no sooner did my touch disturb the surface, something was waiting for me, serrated fangs eager to rip and rend. Had I stopped there like most others would, I dare not imagine what would have consumed you from the inside, the nightmares, the scars, the fractures and cracks that could barely hold you together, it seemed the collapse was fast approaching.
And so I dared to leap in. To stare your demons and monsters in the face and not blink. Why? … that’s a good question isn’t it. Why push my way beyond your mask and try and find the person beneath it, especially when you were so hesitant and even resistant to let anyone do such a thing?
Maybe it was because I saw something inside you; a flicker of hope that there was something left. Just a gleam that there was someone in there to save at all.
Maybe something stirred my own convictions that had been so easily broken by a harlot before. A chance to be useful again, to become the white knight that I could not seem to shake. Now that I had seen and felt what these horrid things could do to a person, could I maybe spare this newfound intrigue the same fate as myself?
Or maybe I just needed a cause to believe in at all. Just a chance to remember what it was like to be human again and not just a specter creeping from breath to breath.
Whatever it was, I took up your banner and stood by you, even if I was not welcome at first, even becoming your opponent at times. I had found a resolution, however unusual and twisted. In that way, I captured your attention.
And finally, the mask collapsed and I saw the person under it; beaten, frightened and crying. Deeper than the bluster and leviathans reached, something stirred once again. It was weak, barely able to beat, let alone stand at first. It was then I realized that you wore a mirror as much as a mask. I had looked into myself and seen the void that surrounded you.
And so a resolution became a promise. That I would not let you face these beasts alone anymore.
It would have taken only a word to dismiss me from my own charge, to let things end as they were and we two to part ways to whatever wilds. Yet you did not say it. Maybe I had finally done something worth the sweat from my back once again, or simply kept you entertained by my own foolishness. Whatever the case, I was content with that, though the promise now seemed to have a partner. A second set of hands that gave it strength to brave the rapids.
So here we are now, with another year ready to fall into spent sands from the hourglass. What started as curiousness that had grown into drive had become something far more consuming, something I did not think to hear echoing among my halls ever again. It became love, shared and bonded through fire and ice and standing taller than shadow.
With that, the resolution has changed for the coming year and each of its sons after that. I now hold something more dear to me than my own breath, and for that I must be stronger than I have ever been. I must turn my back on the jackals that chatter in the dark and trust that sun will rise again. Speak only a wish, and I would pull down the heavens and rest them upon your palm. But on top of all of this, I must remember who I am, as that is the person you have come to trust in and to love. That person is yours, till death do we part. That vow is now my resolve.
My entry for this week’s Free Write Friday from Kellie Elmore. Not gonna lie, I kinda took off with this one and just ran with it. But it’s something that has been in the brainpan as of late, so time will tell how strong this resolve is.
I hope you all enjoy.