Black Knight

Black Knight

Welcome, they said, to a house built of ill

Young eyes that knew hate most fervent

Though the child was spared by the heaven’s will

To the deities of death, I am the servant


Under them, I vowed to carry this debt

A knot of hate, forged into a title

With shield and sword, my path in crimson was set

And for causes worthless, I was not idle


But that path, however wrecked, led me to you

A spoonful of delight from darkest night

For perfection’s embrace, I would pay any due

Hands soaked red never deserved light


To your paramour, a reward of pain

A course of sorrow from fate’s sick master

What love had given, crushed under bane

Dooming an Eden to cruel disaster


For the crime of the affection over destiny

A dishonest sin I will wear with pride

Now begins retribution sans empathy

For the corrupted touch of a stolen bride


What’s this? Something new?! Wowzers!

This is a little something I wrote for my Creative Writing class, which made me appreciate just how difficult it can be to write poetry. All the styles and rules and subtle flavors to use. So  have no idea if this kinda, sorta double sonnet works, but it’s one of the easier ones I came up with.

I hope you all enjoy.

2 thoughts on “Black Knight

  1. Mayumi-H says:

    Poetry is definitely not easy. I have this irrational aversion to it, from university days spent in smokey coffeehouses while my peers recited self-indulgent, masturbatory tripe so common to our major (English). 🙂 But, in playing with it a bit more these last few years, I’ve come to appreciate how deviously difficult it can be, making it a challenge. It’s not a challenge I take often, so I’m really impressed you managed to pull together three (that you’re willing to share)!

    Hope you’re enjoying the class. If it brings out this sort of wordplay, it must be good. 🙂

    I like all three you’ve posted, but I think I like this one best. My first gut reaction was to a Batman character, though the more times I read it, I get this pervasive sense of futility. Maybe it’s only the word choices, but the speaker has this righteous sense of doom about him. I get a similar vibe from “Legion of One”, though that feels distinctly more like a cooperative. My mind jumps to insects, probably because of the idea of a hive-mind.

    The depth of poetry is difficult for me to pierce, so apologies if I’m way off base with these. The words themselves are really lovely, even if I’m too dumb to see through their most basic layer. 😀

  2. Thank you, Mayumi! Glad to hear I’m not the only one who has trouble with this form of the quill.

    Honestly, I am enjoying the class to be sure, though I wish there were more writing, less discussion. This week and next are the Non-
    Fiction weeks, so this will be interesting, as the only non-fiction I really know in detail is my own story.

    This poem in particular was probably the hardest to write, as I didn’t think sonnets could be more than 14 lines originally to keep with the form, but I just went with it, and I’m happy you like it. I wanted something heavy, a little dark, but also relate-able. Batman is a good guess as to whom it’s about, save for the killing.

    “Legion of One” allowed me to be a nerd and get away with it, as it was inspired by Legion, a character from the Mass Effect series of games. Like the Borg, its race are a hive mind and they are stronger in numbers. But unlike the Borg, they do not seek perfection or assimilation of all the galaxy, they just wish to exist. But what would you do if your computer asked you “Does this unit have a soul?”

    “Dreamland” was one I wanted to do for a while, to write just how strong and how much of the world you can take on when it is for the one you love most.

    There is a fourth poem I didn’t post, mainly because it would be a little redundant. I re-wrote “Scorpion” from a while back into a rhyming format. Seems to have worked well.

    Anyway, I’m always happy to hear your take! Thanks again for reading through! 😀

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