The 5 W’s

The streaks from your eyes tell me the worst, someone has dared to hurt you.

A lone sparrow crying in the empty night tells me when.

Drops of fading crimson betray the where.

Silence in your answer reveals the what.

Fear in his eyes upon my approach exposes the how.

And bones breaking from unhinged rage silences the who.

So, I’ll be completely honest, I’m not sure where this one came from. It just sort of…erupted in a blurt. But a good blurt, as it got my pen to paper.

I hope you all enjoy.

2 thoughts on “The 5 W’s

  1. Mayumi-H says:

    Really like this, shade! The succinct descriptions work well to tell the story and give us the details without overdoing it. I like the use of the different senses, too – that really grips the reader and pulls them into the moment. The only thing that might give it just a bit more punch is to choose a different verb for one of the “reveals”. Since this piece is short, and every word evokes feeling, I think a change to that particular choice in one of the instances would really make each line stand out on its own.

    I know you’re busy and you have a lot on your plate, but I’m also very glad to see you’re finding time to write.

    Thanks for sharing! This was a great, meaty read. ❤

  2. Thank you, Mayumi!

    I see what you mean about the verb repetition, hopefully the fix gives it that solid punch now 🙂

    This one was definitely an interesting case of where does my brain go at 2am when it should be sleeping, but it felt really good to get that out there.

    Happy to hear you enjoyed! Hope things aren’t nearly as crazy on your end!

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