U.S.S Donovan – Crew Introductions: Advice From a Life Lived.

The poor Ensign had been prattling on in his office for at least an hour, wailing to the stars that be had lost his one true love … Whats-her-name?

When it finally reached the point that his empathy hound hit his limit, Cdr. Walter Muldror reached his gorilla arm across his chair and smacked the young man into a stunned silence.

“You done?” He asked, both men knowing full well the answer would either be ‘Yes’ or another smack. The Ensign chose to simply nod his compliance.

“Good,” Walter began, taking a drag from one of his hand-rolled stogies. “Look here, kid, I get it. No one likes losing a love, Earth’s history is full of trite tales and shitty songs on why that happens.”

The U.S.S Donovan’s Counselor took a second smoke from his collection and handed it to the junior officer. “But here’s the catch, the one twist they didn’t have then: a target-rich galaxy.”

When the Ensign gave the burly sage a puzzled look, Walter continued, “How many sentient humanoids are in the Federation right now?”

“Ummmm…I don’t know…six, eight hundred billion?”

“Exactly!” Walter hollered, making Slayer perk his head up. “And you got shot down once! Did she slap you?”

The Ensign shook his head.

“Did she curse you and your family to whatever Hell her species or culture believes in?”

Again, the young man shook his head.

“Are you going to wake up tomorrow morning with all your limbs and faculties intact?”

“Yeah..but, but I’ll still…” The junior man began.

Only to be cut off with a pipe-sized finger in a ‘shush’. “You’re going to brood and pine over her until you have something better to do. So we’re going to skip the whiny shit and get straight into something pure and laborious. Something for your hands and instincts to do so you don’t have to think about anything except how to survive.”

The Ensign looked to his cigar, then back to the Counselor, then back to the given smoke. “Well, … I like camping.”

The mention of outdoor activity got Slayer’s body shaking from tail wags and made Walter laugh. “Then grab your bedroll and a canteen, buttercup! We’re gonna take a hike on Qo’nos!”


Another new character for either a resurgent RP effort, like his kin, or just to have on the shelf as an exercise in character. Either way, a relaxing time to sink into someone new.

I hope you all enjoy.